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beyondthebooty:

Congratulations, you’re a father. Here is a guidebook to help you be a better parent.

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wailordandsavior:

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U DONT KNOW ME OR MY LIFE

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tom-sits-like-a-whore:

boys are so weird like when they see what they perceive to be an ugly woman they go “ugh she looks like a man” they’re literally insulting themselves to degrade women do they even think these things through

bead-bead:

drkarayua:

glutenfreewaffles:

glutenfreewaffles:

remember when you put your glasses on for the first time and you realized you could see leaves on trees

how  many fucking people on this website wear glasses jfc

it’s always the leaves oh my god

Yup, third grade. Up ‘til then, EVERYTHING looked like a Monet.

rabioheab:

it’s time for leo dicaprio to give up on his acting career and open a coffee shop called Leonardo DiCappuccino 

micheledesanta:

when ur followers reblog something from you and add terrible commentary

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thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

gallifrey-feels:

More fun facts about ancient Celtic marriage laws: There were no laws against interclass or interracial marriage, no laws against open homosexual relationships (although they weren’t considered ‘marriages’ since the definition of a marriage was ‘couple with child’), no requirement for women to take their husband’s names or give up their property, but comedians couldn’t get married

It’s Adam and Eve not Adam Sandler and Eve

porrim-some-sugar-on-me:

lock-lamora:

duhpercy:

ads for pads these days are all about how thin and discreet pads are and how no one will ever be tell you’re wearing them wELL HOW ABOUT YOU MAKE THE PACKAGING QUIETER BECAUSE THERE’S NO FUCKING POINT IN HAVING A THIN DISCREET PAD WHEN EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU RIPPING ONE OPEN IN THE SCHOOL BATHROOM

Use the men’s room they won’t expect it

'Who the fuck is eating chips in here?'

oknope:

what if your pillow could collect your dreams and when you wake up you plug it into your computer and watch them over again

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